12 Wife Jokes You Haven't Heard Before

Wives are an easy target for jokes. Or, at least, stereotypical wives are, who have photographic memories and are paired with forgetful guys. Wives that won't stop talking, and still can remember every word of each conversation between her and her husband. These are the wives we joke about in these 13 Wife Jokes you haven't heard before.       

1. Grooms, once you get married remember that when you have a discussion with your future wife, always remember to get the last two words in: “Yes dear”.
2. It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
3. I like to watch my wedding video running backwards so I can watch myself walk out of the church a free man.
4. What is the most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday? Forget it once.
5. How do I disable the autocorrect function on my wife? You don’t.
6. Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
7. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months- I don't like to interrupt her.
8.  Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.
9.  A man goes to see a wizard and says, "Can you lift a curse that a priest put on me years ago?"
10. "Maybe," says the wizard, "Can remember the exact words of the curse?" The man replies, "I pronounce you man and wife."
11.  “Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.”
12. Doctor: "Your wife's in hospital."
    Me: "How is she?"
    Doctor: "I'm afraid she's critical."
    Me: "Ah, you get used to that..."
13.  A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted”. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”