Random Laughs: National Joke Day

Random jokes

In honor of tell a joke day, we want to equip you with funny one liners and a few celebrity jokes to give your friends a hoot. They'll wonder when you got so funny and expect more; but before that happens stock up on husband jokes, wife jokes, marriage jokes, maybe skip the bad dad jokes

Elvis Jokes

Elvish Presley aka King of Rock n' Roll. Thirty-nine years later and Elvis is still on our minds and in our jokes. 

Q: What would Elvis be doing if he was alive right now?
A: Clawing at the inside of his coffin!
I went to see an Elvis impersonator last night, but I got there too late..... Apparently, he had left the building. 

Dorial Green-Beckham Jokes

Dorial Green-Beckhma is a recently traded, Philadelphia Eagle, who's had run-ins with the law.

Q: Why does Dorial Green-Beckham not have a phone? 
A: Because he can never get any reception. 

Q: What is the new Dorial Green-Beckham cologne that is creating a lot of buzz?
A: You wear it and the other guy scores. 

Q: What is Dorial Green-Beckham biggest concern? 
A: Does Bail Money count against the Salary Cap? 


Random Jokes

These next jokes aren't connected in any way, except they'll all make you laugh. 

If i had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is "act natural, you're innocent".

I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.

I think my neighbor is stalking me - she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

If you're not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?

I eat my tacos over a Tortilla. That way when stuff falls out, BOOM, another taco.

A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking.

There are few things I enjoy more than picking an argument with my girlfriend when she has the hiccups.

I would give my dad what he really wants on Father's Day, but I can't afford to move out yet.

Time Jokes 

With such a pretty Olive Ash Face, Time is sure to have a few jokes about it. 

Time waits for no man, time is obviously a woman.

People who write "u" instead of "you". What do you do with all the time you save?

When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper "You did this."

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.

That's all the time we have for this year's tell a joke day! Hopefully you've found at least one joke to share with your friends in honor of the day. What's the best joke you've ever heard? Share it in the comments below. 

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