Dad jokes are a rite of passage for every man lucky enough to call himself a father. Equal parts clever and groan-worthy, the best dad jokes of all time strike the perfect balance of being lame, unbearably cheesy, and packed with puns.
So, without further ado, here are the best dad jokes of all time – perfect for engraving on our wooden watches to create keepsakes filled with humor, love, and memories.
Read More: Best Father’s Day Engraving Ideas
Dad Jokes to Annoy Your Friends
The best dad jokes of all time are not just for dads – they are also great for irritating your friends! After all, they are so bad, they are almost funny.
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Why do bananas need sunscreen? Because they peel!
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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.
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What kind of fish is made of only 2 sodium atoms? 2 Na.
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The rotation of the earth really makes my day.
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Want to hear a joke about construction? Nah, I'm still working on it.
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You heard the rumor going around about butter? Never mind, I shouldn't spread it.
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What concert costs only 45 cents? 50 Cent ft. Nickelback!
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What's Forrest Gump's Facebook password? 1forest1
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You shouldn't kiss anyone on January 1st because it's only the first date.
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Want to hear my pizza joke? Never mind, it's too cheesy.
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What does a house wear? A dress.
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Why does Peter Pan always fly? Because he never lands!
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My wife told me I was average, I think she's mean.
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What time is it? I don’t know. It keeps changing.
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I'm thinking about getting a new haircut… I'm going to mullet over.
Best Christmas Dad Jokes
Here are the best dad jokes of all time to bring the groans (or laughs) this holiday season.
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Why did the ornament go to school? It wanted to be brighter!
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What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted flakes.
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What do you call a greedy elf? Elfish.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to therapy? It had too many knots!
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What’s Santa’s favorite type of music? Wrap music.
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What do you call an old snowman? Water.
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How does a snowman get around? By riding an icicle!
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What’s a Christmas tree’s favorite candy? Orna-mints.
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Why did Santa take a break? He felt Claus-trophobic.
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Why don’t you ever see Santa in the hospital? He has private elf-care.
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What do you call Santa’s helpers? Subordinate clauses.
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What do you call Santa when he stops moving? Santa Pause.
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Why does everyone love Frosty the Snowman? He’s snow cool!
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How does Santa measure his sleigh’s performance? In reindeer power.
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What’s Santa’s favorite kind of potato chip? Crisp Pringles!
Read More: Why a Personalized Wooden Watch Makes the Best Christmas Gift for Dad
Treehut’s Engraved Wooden Watches for Dad
With their fine craftsmanship and high quality, Treehut’s wooden watches make for both a practical and personal gift. From multifunctional chronographs to automatic timepieces, there is something for every dad. The warm, natural grains of the wood make your engraving truly stand out. Plus, engraving any of the best dad jokes of all time above will serve as a reminder to keep his humor ticking.
